He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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