just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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