I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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