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some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
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