I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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