Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
