my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
two words: eviction party
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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