Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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