I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
