I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
