I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
