And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
