hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
