Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
