I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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