I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
