Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
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He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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