Grow some girl-balls and come out already
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
