I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
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Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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