if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize