we're blogging at a bar
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
there is glitter all over my balls
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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