I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
