You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
this beer tastes like vomit already
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
