that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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