Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
