I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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