He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
