dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
