Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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