omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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