yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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