weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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