$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize