you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
