sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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