Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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