Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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