Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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