shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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