adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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