Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
