Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize