I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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