Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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