Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
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Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
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Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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