I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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