so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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