I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
