so that wasnt chicken after all
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize