he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
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If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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