Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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