You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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