It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We got so high we made milksteak
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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