If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
